In the midst of lives ups and downs, there is one thing to always remember: be true to yourself at all times. When you sell yourself out, it never seems to feel right and there is a reason for that, it isn’t. Always remember, you are a Very Important Person and the only person who will be with your from day 1 to the finish.
Many people come to me after years of “giving to others”, and giving is never a bad thing as long as it is done with love and intention. However, when “giving” means giving up yourself or giving up your values or giving up your desires because you felt like you “had to”, that’s not true giving, that’s not being true to yourself.
When I look at my life, there are not many things I would change, but there are a few. I don’t truly regret any of those things because I know I did the best I could at the time. That’s one of the key points is understanding that as we look back, we didn’t know then what we know now, so to regret is not a useful exercise. What is a useful exercise to look at how we may have been more true to others than we were to ourselves and resolve to change that as we move forward. If you are true to yourself, in a kind and loving way, then it will be fine. People will, ultimately, understand and respect that and even better, we will have more respect for ourselves.
Being true to yourself, by my definition, is not doing things you don’t want to do or agree with just to please someone else. It’s living life with good, healthy boundaries and understanding that we all make mistakes, but we also learn from those mistakes. It means sharing life with others and being willing to compromise, but not giving our power to others and then feeling helpless. I can love someone and still not let them run over me. Ultimately, the person we need to please is ourselves first because that helps us to be much happier, kinder and more able to help others rather than being worn-out and resentful.
When I am making choices and decisions, the first thing I ask myself is, “am I being true to who I am?” and if the answer is Yes, then it’s the best choice (regardless of outcome) at the time. Things won’t always be the way we think we want them to be, but if we are true to who we are in the process, it works out just fine!