Boundaries

To me, having good boundaries is important in both our personal and professional lives.  Professionally, as a counselor, I have to be very aware of what appropriate boundaries are in order to maintain a good professional relationship.  Boundaries in personal relationships are somewhat different and if the personal and professional boundaries get blurred, it is probably not going to work out too well.

Personally, boundaries are often even more blurry to people.  Much the same as the image with this post, boundaries are difficult to detect and often times, boundaries are crossed and no one really knows what to do about it.

Each of us is responsible for setting our boundaries and then making sure that those boundaries are respected by others.  Often times, people will allow others to invade their boundaries will limited resistance because “we don’t want to be rude or mean” and so we say nothing, but over time we become quite resentful that this behavior keeps happening.

I, many times in my own life, have had some issues maintaining strong personal boundaries.  I am much better at it now than I used to be, but I still struggle from time to time.  If someone or something makes us uncomfortable, it is our responsibility to let the other person know and then make sure that we are consistent about not allowing certain behaviors.  I never want to hurt someone else’s feelings, yet I also don’t want to get to the point I just ignore or avoid people completely because they are ignoring my boundaries and that’s my only solution.  I believe that this action is much more hurtful to others than simply saying that something is not ok with you and they need to stop.  Suddenly, you’re ignoring/avoiding them and then you become the “bad person” because they truly have no idea why you’re acting that way. (been there;done that)

Set clear boundaries with people, enforce those boundaries consistently and you will find that relationships get easier because you don’t feel like a bad person, and you don’t feel disrespected as your boundaries are being invaded (since they aren’t anymore).  It truly is that simple.  It won’t be easy at first because you aren’t used to it, but I promise you it gets easier if you stick with it.

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